The Waiting Room

Let's just be honest here: language barriers are annoying. And seeing as I chose BA for the very purpose of becoming fluent in Spanish, it's been quite humbling realizing just how far I have to go before that goal is achieved.

Every conversation, except those with other Pepperdine students, takes my being on my absolute A-game and literally thinking before I say anything. (A good lesson, I concede, but a bit frustrating when one's vocabulary is sufficiently limited.) And though speaking English is refreshing, a whole day spent with other students just makes coming home to converse with Inés and Gerardo more difficult. I want so badly to connect with the people of this city and to understand their culture, but it is immensely frustrating to be so hindered by a language barrier. I became quite exhausted by the whole thing yesterday, fearing that my homestay parents think I'm timid/introverted/(rude, even?) because, though I can understand the large majority of what they tell me, I often find myself without much to say at the dinner table. I was journaling about my discouragement last night, and, appropriately, experienced a much needed come-to-Jesus.

I was reading Ecclesiastes 3 (an incredibly encouraging passage, in light of the past week's events), and there it was:

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot...
a time to be silent and a time to speak..."

Solomon, wisest one, you seem to have written this exactly for my current time and place. I was firmly planted at home this summer, but now I have been uprooted; I am accustomed to speaking my mind and being readily understood, yet I now find myself silent and struggling to voice my thoughts. And as if finding that my situation in general has already been addressed by a king who lived millenia ago wasn't enough, there were two specific elements of this passage that struck me with great encouragement: firstly, this is only a "time" -- this period of frustration with said language barrier is only temporary, and certainly will not last forever. I will learn this language, I will connect with these people, and I will develop a deeper relationship with my host family. All will come in time. The second point of encouragement came with the realization that, though contrary to my natural tendencies, it really is okay to just be silent sometimes. I treasure communication and understand its vitality to every relationship, but it is true that some times of silence are, well, golden.

This whole concept of being okay with my current state of limited communication was further explained during a "coincidental" encounter Brittany and I had in the local jardín botánico this afternoon. We were approached by a man who needed to borrow a pen to write down an address; two hours later, we were deep in conversation with Roberto, a local business professor who teaches Spanish classes to international students in his free time. He was very patient with us, speaking English in part to help us understand but mostly encouraging us to practice our Spanish with him. He gently corrected our grammatical errors and gave us tips on conquering the 4 most difficult Spanish concepts for estadounidenses (people from the U.S.): por vs. para, ser vs. estar, "r" vs. "rr," and the pronunciation of las vocales (vowels). The best tip he gave us, though, was to listen intently to the people around us: "If you listen to other accents, other vocabulary, you will learn this language much more quickly. And if you pay attention to the way the people around you speak, you will mimick their pronunciation and learn to speak Spanish correctly."

As Brittany and I left the garden, it became clear that Roberto's advice connected directly to Ecclesiastes 3:7. Not only are there times to be silent, but to make the most of those times, we must listen for the things we are to learn from them. This time of frustration -- the "waiting room" for God's answer, as Christian musicians Shane&Shane have called it -- is from the Lord, and He truly has a time for everything.

There is a time for me to be confused, and a time for me to understand. There is time for me to feel comfortable, and a time for me to be pushed far beyond my comfort zone. And there is a time for me to ask questions and speak my mind, and a time for me to be still and silent and listen. Though I so often desire for these seasons to come by my own time frame, God's timing is intentional and will certainly be proven perfect. I just must be willing to be still and wait.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
- Psalm 46:10

Abrazos from abroad,
Margaret